Joke for the Day

[Bütch]

Good one Webb

[Webb]

[Webb]

Hellooo!! Of course she can't see the ball.
Her glasses are on top of her head .
I'll bet you never noticed that!!

[Webb]

This is how you can get rich….

Hasam and Habib are street beggars. They beg in different areas of London.

Habib begs just as long as Hasam but only collects £2 to £3 every day.

Hasam brings home a suitcase FULL of £10 notes, drives a Mercedes, lives in a mortgage-free house and has a lot of money to spend.

Habib says to Hasam 'I work just as long and hard as you do but how do you bring home a suitcase full of £10 notes every day?'

Hasam says, 'Look at your sign, what does it say'?

Habib's sign reads 'I have no work, a wife and 6 kids to support'.

Hasam says 'No wonder you only get £2- £3.'

Habib says, 'So what does your sign say'?

Hasam shows Habib his sign.

It reads,

I only need another £10 to get back to Syria

[Webb]

A circus owner runs an ad for a "lion tamer wanted" and two people show up.
One is an old retired Armed Forces medic in his seventies, the other a drop-dead gorgeous brunette with a great body in her twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion.
He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history.
"Here's your equipment… a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.
The lion gets all heated up, starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her.
As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat, revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body. The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
Then he turns to the old medic and asks, "Can you top that?"
The tough old medic replies… "Possibly... but you've got to get that lion out of there first."

[Webb]

[Webb]

A woman was sitting at a bar enjoying an after work cocktail with her girlfriends when Steven, a tall, exceptionally handsome, extremely sexy, middle-aged man entered. He was so striking that the woman could not take her eyes off him.

This seasoned yet playful heartthrob noticed her overly attentive stare and walked directly toward her. (As any man would.) Before she could offer her apologies for staring so rudely, he leaned over and whispered to her, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $20.00.. on one condition..."

Flabbergasted but intrigued, the woman asked what the condition was. The man replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The woman considered his proposition for a moment, and then slowly removed $20 bill from her purse, which she pressed into the man's hand along with her address. She looked deeply and passionately into his eyes, barely concealing her anticipation and excitement, and slowly and meaningfully said....






"Clean my house."

[Webb]

A man was walking down the street when he was approached by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for dinner.

The man took out his wallet, took out ten dollars and said, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"

"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.

"Will you spend this on green fees at a golf course instead of food?" the man asked.

"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years!"

"Well," said the man, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a hot shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."

The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?

The man replied, "That's okay. It's important for her to see what a guy looks like after he’s given up drinking and golf."